my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
