dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
