that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I understand Curling. That high.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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