yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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