Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
