margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Randomize
