I'd wear matching sweaters with you
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
