is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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