the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
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