Whoa Z and x make the same sound
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
