I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
