question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
