i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
