How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
