OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
