The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
