I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
