I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
