I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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