im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You pole danced in your parka.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
