There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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