My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
