I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
