Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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