so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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