ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
