why didn't you poke me back
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
