Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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