The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
