I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
