i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
