Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
