Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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