2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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