So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
