so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
