I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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