My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
