pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
It's official drugs can't kill me
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
be right there i have to get my cape
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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