Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
