is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
