come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
