every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
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