sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
