so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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