Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
