Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
