I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
