I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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