Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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