we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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