Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
